Monday's Scattered Thoughts

Today's Scattered Thoughts is something I have been thinking about for a while now. Four the better part of the last 3 or 4 years I have had quite an assortment of jobs. None of which I felt really connected to. You know those jobs that pay the bills but you know you hate doing it. Or you just feel no fullfillment. Well that has been me in past few years. But I am coming to a sort of crossroads in my thoughts, that it's not so much what I do to make money, it is the other things outside of that time (work time) that I am not doing (i.e. teaching, reading, exercising, learning, ect.). I dream job would be to do Spiritual Formation for a church/Marriage and Family Therapy. And when I get older I'd like to be a professor. Anywho I realized that with the vast years ahead of me my outlook needed a little tweak. The question I had to ask myself was, What are you doing now to do the things you want to? How are you going to get to that place? Well there is not really an answer for now, but a new/fresh perspective to move forward. So what have I done thus far? Well I am volunteering at church, nothing large but get myself plugged in and perhaps challenge myself in new roles. Also I have commited myself(I'm not very discplined in this area) to getting back into shape both physically and intellectually.
I am encouraged by the fact that I don't have it all together right now nor have I found the perfect plan of action but it is progression from yesterday and the day before that and so on and so on and so on....

What do you do find meaning in your life? What feeds your soul?

Things Happen...

I've never been a person who gets easily flustered/frustrated. I suppose for a large part of my life I have lived out of a controlled chaos (if thats even plausible). So that when things happen that are beyond my control occur I can addresss it and move on appropriately. For the better part of 5 years I have lived in this chaotic whim. WHY? Partly because I feed off of it. Is it healthy? For now in this time I don't see it as harmful but if it is fostered further it can be what I call "Nothing good ever happens to me" Syndrome. It could lead me to a vicious cycle of sabotoge wherein I could no longer operate a healthy lifestyle.
I have never been one to blame God either. I came to an understanding years ago that things happen outside the intended will of God. If everything that happen was God's doing, then we might as well call him, Freddy Krueger (Got that one from Rybarczyk). That doesn't mean that God cannot find Glory in whatever trial or fault of mine/anyone elses. Simply put, I"m just trying to figure shtuff out!

Finding Inspiration

I have always had this dream.... that someday I would be this great song writer/muscian. I don't really feel like a have that great of a voice so that was never part of the dream to sing but ehhh.
I first started playing the guitar about 3 years ago out of a crazy whim, also there was only one other person to lead worship for my Youth group, so I wanted to help. So at first it was exciting, I was playing everyday 2 or 3 hours just trying to master certain chords. It continued like that until I finished college.
Now I have always been a writer. I love to write. I wouldn't say that I am exceptional at it but I can hold my own. So within those first two years I felt like I was writing and playing, creative juices were flowing. But now I just can seem to find that edge, that appeal of melodies/words... I try to find inspiration in different types of music, artist that I respect lyrically/muscianship but I feel so unmotivated.
Perhaps it is just a stage... and I will find my niche again, somehow, somewhere...

How/where do you find your inspiriation?